Gone Drinkin' -- Vieques Edition

I'm off to Vieques, a small island off the coast of Perto Rico that the navy used for target practice up until a few years ago. Hopefully I shall return with a tan and all of my limbs still attached. Undetonated naval ordinance + tropical paradise = good, clean fun.

*bitter defeat*—Official Web Site of the Mickster

Apropos of The New York Times's semi-offensive "blipster" (black hipster) mention in this article (via Brooklyn Vegan), *bitter defeat* proclaims itself home of the Irish hipster, henceforth to be known as the mickster. As with other ethnically determined labels, mickster refers not only to Irish hipsters, but also to hipsters in the Irish diaspora.

Mickster heritage stretches all the way back to the late 1970s, from whipcrack piss-takers like Elvis Costello (aka Declan McManus), and Morrissey to such shabby, devil-may-care proto-micksters as Bob Geldoff, and, of course, the granddaddy of us all, Shane McGowan. Aside from yours truly, prominent current-day micksters include Ryan McGinley, Cillian Murphy, and the band The Thrills. We tend not to rock the shaggy bearded look so popular with hipsters of other ethnic backgrounds, due primarily to our genetic shortcomings in the body hair department. However, the Irish black-rimmed-glasses quotient is off the charts.

The mickster tends to exhibit some combination of stereotypically Irish tendencies and behaviors (alcoholism; rueful self-deprecation; exceptional storytelling ability; pronounced cynicism; alcoholism; free-floating guilt; defeatism; anger-management issues; a wicked sense of humor; severe impulse-control problems; below-average penis size (aka "The Irish Curse"); alcoholism, etc.) with more universal hipster characteristics (skinny jeans; undersized blazers/military jackets; ironic consumption of cheap domestic beers; polymathic obsession with useless pop culture, contemporary art, record collecting, and vintage guitars; beards [when able]; shaggy hair; an undue reverence for The Liars and TV on the Radio, etc.)

So give your local mickster a pleasant smile and a "Top o' the mornin'" the next time he stalks by. He's sure to shoot you a nasty look and keep right on walking.

I Wanna Point!

Patrick the Catholic, AJ, and the management were enjoying many, many beers at Black & White this week when AJ mentioned his newfound obsession with YouTube hunting. His main quarry? Hair Metal videos. And so, inspired, I set out to find some of my favorite music videos from the days when my eleven-year-old wardrobe included fingerless leather gloves, parachute pants, and (I shit you not) a zebra-striped bandana that I wore tied around my thigh.

I was being pulled in two directions, fashion-wise; you would think that my desire to join the cast of Breakin' didn't exactly dovetail with my equal need to become either the fifth member of Mötley Crüe or David Lee Roth himself. In my preadolescent wisdom, I chose a terrifying amalgam of the two styles. Strangely, this was pretty common... lots of kids had Puma windbreakers and spiked bracelets on at the same time. It is, in retrospect, troubling. This phase would eventually pass, as trend turnover seemed, to me at least, much faster in the '80s. Unfortunately, my next phase consisted of pegged Bugle Boy cargo pants, a "Don't Blame Me, I Voted for Bill & Opus" T-shirt, and whatever Maui & Sons items I could find on the sale rack at the big Santa Monica JC Penny's. It wasn't until around 1994 that I was able to dress myself properly. But I digress.

As I said, I was inspired to locate some of my favorite videos. I offer the following pair to dramatize the severe aesthetic tensions that warped my fragile young mind. First we have Ratt's "Lay It Down" video, which features a truly nasty creepy clown/creepy kid double-whammy. Please note how much Stephen Pearcy likes to point. It is rude to point. So what Stephen is saying, essentially, is, "Ratt is fucking rude! Fear Ratt!" His pirate shirt, however, turns our fear into eye-watering laughter.

...and then there was the other side. Ollie & Jerry's "There's No Stoppin' Us" was the massively inspirational jam that powered many a massively inspirational montage in Breakin' (which today simply inspires massive ridicule). Again, notice the ritual application of fashion accessories. At the time, this was considered quite "badass," or, as I used to say, "dude-ical." Today, however, it would be considered "gay," and would take place primarily in a five-person artist's loft on Williamsburg.

(A note on Breakin': I, and all of my peers, wanted to be like Turbo. No one wanted anything to do with Ozone's retarded zoot hat and feather earring. Even as impressionable youths, we knew this idiot was a complete waste of space.)

Anyway, thanks to AJ for the trip down memory lane and the clip of Def Leppard on Regis and Kelly. I always wondered what they said at the beginning of "Rock of Ages."

"Whatever I find offensive must also be DESTROYED!"

Post frequency just isn't what it used to be around these parts. Mea culpa, man, but I'm busy as hell. The management promises some new and exciting content in the coming week, but in the meantime here's another video clip. This one's mostly for the nerds, but even you "normals" should get a kick out of it. Behold, Earth's rudest supervillain:

Magneto Is Kind of a Jerk

Neil Peart, Destroyer of Worlds

"What about the voice of Geddy Lee/How did it get so high?/I wonder if he speaks like an ordinary guy/(I know him, and he does)/And you're my fact-checkin' cuz" -- Pavement, "Stereo"

You should watch this video.

LISTMANIA! 2006 Hangover... The 16 Best Live Shows of 2006

Thanks to Matt, Tye, Rich, Lance, Caleb, Brian the Designer, and especially Kim The Awesome Girlfriend, 2006 was a kind of live-music renaissance. Honestly, I haven't gone to this many live shows in the course of a year since my days as a Berkeley/San Francisco indie punker. That was nine years ago! This was also the year that I rediscovered an important truth: a live show can make or break a band in the eyes of the viewer. And for every few bands I fell in love with by virtue of their live prowess (Art Brut, Wolfmother, Silversun Pickups, Black Angels), I was totally put off my feed by some genuinely shite performances (Annie, I Love You but I've Chosen Darkness, Kasabian).

So here, in descending order, are the truly superior, eye-watering, scrotum-tightening live experiences of 2006. All venues are in Manhattan, unless otherwise indicated.

1. Daft Punk @ Coachella Valley Music Festival, Indio, California, April 29
2. Art Brut @ Coachella Valley Music Festival, Indio, California, April 30
First off, yes, I do realize that having your two favorite shows at a big outdoor festival is contrary to all small-clubs-are-the-best orthodoxy. What can I say? These shows just blew me away! Daft Punk's set was the biggest surprise -- and certainly the most amazing spectacle -- of the year. All of the subsequent (and unanimous) interwebs praise was wholly deserved. Art Brut, on the other hand, was the greatest revelation. No band has ever made so much more sense to me after a live show. Eddie Argos is the most (strangely) charismatic frontman in rock 'n' roll today. I went from being a fan to being an acolyte in the course of 40 minutes.

3. Flaming Lips @ Hammerstein Ballroom, September 24
1,500 stoned trust-fund hippies, all with laser-pointers. Before this show, I was pretty sure that was the exact definition of hell. By the time this show/festival/interactive art happening was over, I swear to god I was ready to hug everyone in the room. And I ws on exactly ZERO drugs at the time.

4. Art Brut @ Knitting Factory, May 18
More of the same, only with more booze, more energy, more yelling, more sweating, and more MERCH!! Quoth the Kim: "Modern Art... Makes me... WANT TO ROCK OUT!!"

5. Robert Pollard @ Irving Plaza, Apr. 20
Bob is probably the most revered indie-rock performer on the planet if you're a drunk (like him). I am. I hate to admit it, but this was only my second time seeing him, and the first time was in a massive hall where they opened for Cheap Trick. This time I realized how empty my life will be... because I'll never be able to follow GBV around for a year.

6. Black Angels @ Knitting Factory, June 7
A redundancy: The Velvet Underground + The Doors + Jesus & Mary Chain... but without any of the Jim Morrison bullshit.

7. Film School @ Mercury Lounge, May 23
All I could think was, "How does this lame dude in a baseball cap make such kickass music?" I learned a valuable lesson about books, covers, and judgment.

8. Hot Chip @ Webster Hall, November 2
Yea, and the funny-looking British men created much ass-shaking. And lo the hipsters saw that it was good. And there was much rejoicing.

9. Silversun Pickups @ Mercury Lounge, August 3
The most charming, self-deprecating, witty stage banter around. Also, sweet guitar solos.

10. Arctic Monkeys @ Webster Hall, March 25
Roit! The next wee twat who says the word "hype" gets me boot up their arse!

11. Belle & Sebastian @ Nokia Theater, March 2
Stuart was... dancing!

12. Broken Social Scene @ Prospect Park, Brooklyn, July 6
Amy Millan was very, very drunk.

13. Built to Spill @ Warsaw, Greenpoint, Brooklyn, October 3
So many Polish beers.

14. The Pipettes @ The Roundhouse, Camden Town, London, December 23
So many choreographed dance moves. Definitely the most titillating show I've seen in a while.

15. Danielson @ Northsix, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, May 13
Definitely the least titillating show I've seen all year. A big band of indie-Christians dressed as flight attendants. Again, sounds like a vision of hell on paper, but it was great. And Sufjan stood right behind us.

16. My Morning Jacket @ Roseland Ballroom, November 20
I'm still coming to terms with the fact that I like a "jam band." Although in our defense, we never made it through the 20-minute closing guitar solo.